Living with Ghosts

What do I see before me? Its shape reminds me of someone from my past, yet I cannot make out their face. Maybe it was a shadow of me or maybe it was someone I never really knew.

They say a river moves and changes every second; it is never the same river twice. So it is with humans. We try to become a new version of ourselves, but glitches from the old software keep gumming up the system.

So many images and vapors of my former life haunt me. Those I thought were my whole existence but moved on to eternal destinations too quickly. Those who started as small children but soon grew up to be adults who live with my scars and spend their entire lives trying to unlearn my mistakes.

But love lingers in beautiful ways. Its shadow is never far from my eyes. Its light and darkness both beg for my attention. Love is now something that I do not have to search for; it is always there keeping me warm and reminding me of my insecurities, my imperfections, and my humanity. Reminding me that it is a part of human nature to seek out love and cling to it for dear life.

I see a future that is blurry, but one that deserves my attention. I cannot live in the past, for it is but a vapor. A thick mist that obscures all I want to see. The ghosts that follow me are of my own doing. They do not haunt me for they are continually at my side. They do not scare me, for the ghosts are strangely familiar and uniquely comforting. They are an extension of my soul.

How can you not believe in something, but at the same time believe it is always with you? How can you remember these ghosts, but deep down know that you will likely never see them again? Maybe the ghosts are all that remains. All that we will ever possess. The only thing that makes sense to believe in.

How their spirit lingers. How it moves in every area of our lives. We owe the ancestors our very best. We owe them our hearts and the sacrifice of our lost lives. We owe them to never give up on our dreams. We must pass their love on to all who deserve it, and even to those who don’t.

I must believe in ghosts. For someday I may be a spirit that guides those of the flesh into the mist. Darkness awaits us all, but the ghosts will lead us where we were always meant to be.