Growing Up: It’s Not What You Think

"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so.  Now that I am fifty, I read them openly.  When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."~C.S. Lewis

How do you know when you have officially grown up?  Is there a magic age when you realize your potential and start acting maturely, showing your God-given potential, and expressing your values clearly to the world?  Is there a time when you feel good in your own skin, when you can approach your imperfections with humility, and seek improvements without self-condemnation?

Balance is something that many individuals desire but never achieve.  Becoming fit without becoming too prideful in our appearance. Becoming a good example of our religion without coming across as pious and losing sight of social issues that exemplify our religion.  Becoming knowledgeable without appearing a know-it-all or unteachable.  Achieving personal and lifetime goals for the right motives, not to prove others wrong. 

I am currently at a point where I am reflecting on my first 45 years.  There have been mistakes and many learning experiences.  Professionally I have reached the goal that I strived for my entire life.  So where do I go from here? How do I rebuild myself in this new career from the ground up? I am constantly torn between riding the status quo and coasting or pushing myself into new territory. I am convinced that the best way to learn something new is to be made to do it. Learning a new language.  Deciding what should be the focus of my research.   Even preparing a new dish in the kitchen.  I want to be a lifelong learner.  I want to be a reader in a television world; a poet in a world of novelists.

What does it mean to be comfortable in your own skin?  Does it mean that we never have to make improvements? Does it mean we are confident that we have arrived, that we have nothing else to learn?  I think it means that we don’t panic when we see an extra pound or two on the scale. We just get back to the gym and start counting calories.  I think it means that we can take constructive criticism without falling into depression but also without completely discounting the critique. It means we carefully weigh decisions and have enough confidence in ourselves to pull the trigger.

Many people live their whole lives for that Mt. Everest moment.  Once they have jammed their flag in the summit, their lives are essentially over.  They have no more goals.  They cannot reinvent themselves.  I don’t want to be that person; always living in the past.  Neither do I want to be the person that lives with the scars of regret.  In the end, I want to be the kind of person that has lived…really lived. But I want to enjoy the ride and be able to laugh at myself as well. Our life is a mystery, but it is no mystery that maturity will always allude us if we take ourselves too seriously. 

Every day is the chance to climb a new summit, meet a new challenge.  May I always be ready to say “What can I learn today?” “How can I be a better person today than I was yesterday?”  But may I also be able to look in the mirror and know that I am stuck with the image I see.  I am who I am; imperfections and all. Maturity is not marked by a specific age, and it is always about the journey, not the destination.

Maturity means looking in the mirror and smiling at the person you have become, while reflecting the hopes of the person you want to be.