Change from the Inside Out

“Although I would like our world to change, it helps me to appreciate those nights and those dreams.

But my friend, I’d sacrifice all those nights, if I could make the Earth and my dreams the same.”

~ Creed

I want so much to change people. The broken characters in recent movies show me their fatal flaws. Some are worse than others.  I may even secretly wish for their death.  I want others to be like me:  listen to my music, feel what it’s like to long for social change and not know where to start, and understand my approach to solving problems.  I guess I want a clone of myself. I want even one person to understand me. But these efforts are fruitless.  In general, everyone seeks approval. We struggle and fight to be understood. We post pleas for understanding on Facebook and are disappointed when the number of “likes” is low.  I am learning that this constant appeal for approval is misguided.  It is a rat race, a dead end.  So how must we conduct our lives in this respect?

I first want us to consider how we became the person we are today.  I also want to consider the very evident fact that we are not where we want to be. When I say that I realize that there are individuals who are content with themselves and the possibility of them changing is not extremely high. So in my discussions, I am not referring to those human beings. I am speaking to those of us who choose to learn, grow, adapt, and improve each day. 

Our present situation and mindset is a combination of our genetic programming, our upbringing, the education we have chosen (and sometimes endured), and the choices we have made. It is also a product of the way we have faced adversity and how we came out on the other side.  We know many of our own positive attributes and a few of our faults; the faults being infinitely more hard to swallow. When we are young, it is natural to be focused inward, on meeting our physical needs, and worrying about our future. As we age and settle into a career, our thoughts must go deeper as we seek higher goals.

We daily look in the mirror, and see this person, and then we move away.  Do we hope for more, besides a little more hair or one or two less wrinkles?  I think the reason superheroes appeal to us is because they have powers that we envy:  superstrength, X-ray vision, eternal life, or super speed.  We want to be superhuman.  We want to be so much more than this lump of flesh with a finite shelf life and an expiration date that is largely unknown.  But we must come to grips that we are not superhuman. It is sobering, but it a part of who we are as the human race.

So what can we change?  Can we overcome our intense desire for acceptance?  Can we make a difference in our short time on Earth?  I think we can.  But having said that, I cannot obsess over the person I am not, only strive a little each day to be an improvement. Find a social cause and do what you can to get involved.  Look outside of yourself and help someone less fortunate than you.  Set a goal for yourself and meet it; a fitness goal or a life change that can be an inspiration to others.  Don’t worry so much about pleasing others or your Facebook status.  Your personal thermometer should include two things:  have I strived today to be a better person and have I helped someone in need. It is fulfilling to our souls, our faith, and our duty to mankind.

It is a process of introspection, a daily test of self-evaluation and goal setting. It should be as natural as the air we breathe.  It is not a mandatory part of living. We can choose to stay where we are. But it is worth the struggle to move up the hill to view a place where we can be. Having said that, I realize that the process of becoming involves three steps forward and two steps back.  It is a rocky mountain climb. But we must strive to continue moving upward. May we always make decisions that please heaven and give us rest, knowing we are making progress toward the person we want to become.  For those worried you are being selfish in this process, consider that Jesus said we must love our neighbor as ourselves, implying we must first get the affairs of our own conscience in order before we can be of any benefit to others.

The mark of a difference made is not changing the world, because so few of us will.  We may make a name for ourselves in our careers, add to a body of knowledge, and have our 15 minutes of fame, but that success may be short lived. The mark of a difference made is when we fold our hands to leave this world, can we put our regrets to rest and have we proved to our self and others that this life is worth the trouble?