Meaning Out of Chaos (A Re-Framing of the Serenity Prayer)

Universe, you were created from a collection of dust and a mass of explosions billions of years ago, yet somehow you formed me, a sentient being, from that dust. A being that now struggles with the quality and deeper meaning of his life until I am returned to dust once more. Help me to realize that my brief spark of life has no particular meaning in and of itself, but I choose to create meaning out of this chaos. Help me to discern the important from the unimportant; the things that give me joy from the things that keep me awake at night; those individuals who would see me at my best vs those that care nothing for my well-being. Give me the forethought to create a reality that makes a difference and gives hope and meaning to those I encounter. Give me the wisdom to know that I am not alone; many other specks of dust struggle with the meaning of their brief lives. And most importantly, help me realize that I can only change what I choose to change.

The Bliss of Life

That feeling when you just feel so blessed by everything surrounding you that you cannot express it in any way other than tears…tears that you have no control over…they just leak out from your abundance…an epiphany of realizing that all that has been created is at your disposable.

Nature

Sights

Sounds

Music

Love

Pets

Great food

It is all there at your fingertips and you are privy to such a time in history that we can enjoy it in all its glory and also see that a future will be raised up long after we leave this plane of existence.

A thousand unique sunrises

Mars landings and interstellar travel

Hearts broken and mended by love

Cures for devastating diseases

The hover cars we were promised

Loving furry companions

Food that comforts and satisfies

Knowing you will not see it is not the source of the tears…but the realization that it WILL happen.

Life will proceed on with our passing;

More sights, sounds, music, love, pets, exciting scientific discoveries, and an abundance of great food

The tears are a realization that love is the source of all bliss for the future ones…and love will carry them forward and fill them to overflowing.

Let the river of tears take us onward to destinations unknown, and feed the stream that gently escorts those we love forward into that bright and hopeful future.

  

The Meaning (Making) of Life

Everyone is in the process of “meaning making.” For each individual there is a quest for meaning, and their sole existence is about finding that object of worship, job they love, a spouse that will love them back, or a child that they can nurture and grow into a version of themselves. It is so easy to condemn someone for how they find meaning, and rightfully so. Many people hope to find their meaning through power. Through power they might be able to control the world. More possessions equal more control and their meaning making journey continues to be consumed by the accumulation of that power. They are deemed evil because the accumulation of that power leads them to nefarious actions – stealing, murder, betrayal. All those actions they feel will help them make meaning of this life.

We seek conflict. Even though we pretend that we hate it, we thrive on it. Because the absence of conflict leads to an empty void that we must fill. We dream of a utopia—a perfect world free of strife, anger, and confrontation. But once we arrived, we would make it into a second hell by introducing our necessary conflicts.

Seeking good is as much of a trap as seeking evil--trapped in a world where every action is necessary to find our meaning in perfect goodness. A perfect world that pleases our deity and brings us some reward in the next life. It is clear why religion is so addictive. It solves the riddle for so many that there must be a meaning greater than what they see. There has to be more. And that quest leads them into resolute crusade of good works--seeking out evil and squashing it; making sure that evil deeds and individuals are identified, converted, and led down the same path of meaning making as them.

I recently discovered  -- not necessarily a profound revelation – that most of life is boring. Most of life is eating, planning our work, working, more eating, some pleasurable activities, then sleep. Then the cycle starts over each day. Different versions of this reality exist for every person on the planet. An extremely small percentage of our life includes those activities that bring us happiness. We would love to fill every waking spare moment with them, but even those activities bring us no joy if performed consistently and without purpose. We also seek the thrill of adventure – pushing our bodies in physical performance, climbing mountains, games, and sports. But each of those activities also become a part of the regiment of daily routines. Each activity brings us brief fleeting joy. When we don’t find meaning in this recreation, confusion ensues because we can't understand how these adventures never add anything substantial to our quest for meaning.

So what is the meaning of life? That is an impossible question to answer. It is not just a stopover on the journey to perfection, utopia, and enlightenment that many believe it to be. It is also not a hell that we build by our own hands; misery created when the means we have justified meet their ultimate consequences by the laws of society or common sense. The meaning of life is “meaning making.” So it appears we are back where we started. 

The meaning of life is what you make it. What you craft it into. What you design it to be. When you reach the end, it may appear in the eyes of the world to be senseless garbage. Or it might be a work of art crafted out of the tinsel, fluff, and trash of your life; like a toddler decorating a Christmas tree. It is messy. But just like a toddler, since you don’t know any better, it is the tree of your creation. Just like the toddler, you can smile and know you did your best. Even if the world only sees it as garbage. 

Take comfort in knowing that everyone is on a parallel journey to find meaning in it all.    

GET BETTER

So many times when setting goals, I feel obliged to use descriptions like “the best” or “excellent” and put down outrageous numbers, but in reality I always do better when I make them simple. So for 2021, my theme is simple: GET BETTER.

Yes, I know this sounds simplistic, but I want to be better in so many areas of my life.

*I want to get better as a researcher (including methodology and writing skills).

*I want to get better at taking care of my body and making healthy choices about food and exercise.

*I want this country to get better at taking care of its most vulnerable citizens; I want to reflect that in my teaching and research and do my part to help our nation heal.

*I want to get better at making sure everyone in my immediate circles know I care and feel the love I have for them.

After the multitude of tragedies we experienced in the past year, I have to get back to feeling hopeful and optimistic. I want to get back to believing that what I do makes a difference. I want to get back to making personal connections with people and do all I can to lead and mentor those that need me.

Life is about quality, not quantity. I have no aspirations of living to 100. All I want to do is increase the quality of my years. That includes my personal desire to become a better human being.

I refuse to let life lead me around like a stray dog on a leash. I know it owns me, but I want to feel the freedom to make choices about the direction where I will go. I want to explore. I want to find all the hidden treasures life has to offer. Most of all, I want to treasure all that I have.

In the bigger picture, we will never “get better.” All humans are on track for the same fate. So I might as well make sure the quality and richness of my journey is one that I will fondly remember when all is said and done.

I challenge everyone to GET BETTER with me!

Aspire to Goodness (2032)

INTERVIEWER: Welcome to our show, Dr. Sparks. So after 40 years in education, including 21 years as a middle and high school teacher and 19 years as a professor, you have decided to retire. Can you believe it’s been that long?

TEACHER: No, its crazy. It seems just yesterday I took my first teaching job in 1992, the year my daughter was born. Sometimes I feel so young and other times I feel worn thin; especially my feet.

INTERVIEWER: (Laughs) I'm sure! What would you say was your favorite part of being in education?

TEACHER: Well, the money and the prestige of course (sarcasm). Seriously though, the students. I know it is cliché, but you can really feel like you make a difference in their lives, hopefully in a positive way. There were so many. I calculated last week that I have taught or influenced well over 10,000 students; possibly more when you count the teachers I helped produce and the students they have hopefully inspired. It is very rewarding. It is not an easy career. Never let anyone tell you that. It is one of the hardest jobs you could ever choose. But well worth it.

INTERVIEWER: Would you consider yourself a great teacher?

TEACHER: Interesting question. But the answer is no, not particularly. In fact, I jokingly say that I “aspire to goodness.”

INTERVIEWER: Wow, I have never heard anyone put it that way. Explain “aspiring to goodness” for me.

TEACHER: I guess I should back up and say that I struggled as a student. There was always something holding me back. Later I found out it was a combination of lack of confidence, imposter syndrome, and my ADHD. Somehow, I earned “more degrees than a thermometer” as my dad would have said. But there was always a restlessness in me that held me back from being a great teacher --my thirst for knowledge, hobbies and collections, relationships, religion, music, and other distractions. Oh, I am not saying I didn’t have flashes of greatness; I think all teachers do. But I remember feeling in the last third of my career that I would rather be “good” than “great.”

INTERVIEWER: This is quite intriguing. Tell me more about that last part.

TEACHER: Being a great teacher requires sacrifice, long hours, surrendering things in your life that are replaced by the obsessive need to always be “on your game.” Don’t get me wrong, I worked hard. The first few years I taught, I was always the first one in the parking lot and the last one to leave. But somewhere along the line, I realized those hours could be replaced by other things, and that my students should know more about what it means to be a “good” person than a “great” person. Greatness can be faked, driven by ambition and notoriety; wanting praise heaped on you. But I wanted to be “good,” which means I loved my students, believed in them, pushed them to understand their future students, and create students that want to make a difference in the world. So in the end, when students are talking about me and my legacy, I hope they say, “He was a good teacher. You could tell he really cared about us.”

INTERVIEWER: So, you can still be an “excellent” teacher while being a “good” teacher?

TEACHER: Absolutely. I would never tell a student not to strive for excellence. They should always focus on the quality of their work and create lessons that inspire their students. But more than that, I want them to teach their students to be “good” people as well. To love their neighbor, be respectful of all beliefs, care for their bodies, protect the earth, and fight for those whoare vulnerable. If I have created “good” students that impact the world in those ways, then I have truly done my job.

INTERVIEWER: Thank you, Dr. Sparks. I’ve enjoyed our conversation. You have inspired me to be a “good” reporter. One last question: What will you be doing in retirement?

TEACHER: I am actually going into partnership with another retired professor to own a record store. My love for music is second only to my love for education. I may even do a little DJ-ing; although at this point it might be at a retirement center (laughs).