Dodging Lightning

When the night is dark, yet not dark enough to escape the city haze that mars our view of the sky, lightning begins to show itself as a sinister applause with no sound, but soon makes its presence known to those who know where to listen.

As with so many other ghosts I feared, its ominous fireworks display and concerto of cymbal crashes once moved me to hide and cower, but no more.

I know with one mighty stroke of its crooked hands my heart would beat no more, but a long and fulfilled life dispels any notions of worry; do as you must you stooped and crackling wizard.

As with so many other fears, the future and its looming uncertainty call to me like the wind from a mighty storm; yet I am determined to see those fears as no more than irritations; they only yield the power that I grant them.

This newly born resistance to fear is driven by the realization that I am much stronger than I once was; more capable and able to construct or rebuild whatever is set before me in steadfast confidence.

The fears that once held me captive now slink away with nothing to show since I am no longer a viable candidate for emptiness; other weaker vessels must be pursued.

As with so many other worried souls, I once believed that I was powerless, but now my reflection is coming into focus; the lessons I learned from traversing my treacherous paths now energize and refresh my aching feet.

When the night is dark and the rumbling that stirs in distant retreating formations slowly fades into tomorrow, I smile to know that the storms of my yesterday now give way to the clear skies that warm my face as I confront the coming day with virtue and resolve.

All Together Separate

Frozen in time

This icy state of indifference weighs heavily on the soul

Crushing the vital air from our lungs and making us long for the touch of another human.

Suspended animation

This cartoon-like existence impels us to ponder what is real

Living each day through our rhythmic routines and wondering when a sense of normalcy will return.

Hiding from sunlight

This dark shelter shields us from the invisible microscopic monsters

Scaring us into the realization of the things that don’t matter and awakening our hearts to those that last.

Hoping in Silence

This quiet meditation calms our present, but the future is one that we will create together

Building a world that battles a common enemy and outgrows our complacency.

Change our World

This oblivious infection cares only about destroying all it encounters

Changing how we view the sick, the hungry, and the lonely and preparing us to see the world with fresh communal eyes.

What if God is Asleep?

If God is Asleep…

Are snow-capped mountains any less majestic?

Are ageless melodies any less sweet to the ears?

Are the embraces of love any less captivating?

If God is Asleep…

Do my words of anger and outrage matter?

Do my aspirations of changing the world matter?

Do my selfless acts of devotion and chivalry matter?

If God is Asleep…

Will my children love me any less?

Will my students appreciate me any more?

Will my friends and family miss me when I am gone?

If God is Asleep…

Can my righteousness take me any higher?

Can my motivation and ambition make me any happier?

Can my weakness make me any stronger?

If God is Asleep…

Is life any less beautiful and worthwhile?

Is there any point in working endless hours on my job?

Is there any reason not to live life to the fullest every day?

If God is Asleep…

What will be our greatest focus?

What will be our most frivolous fear?

What will be our lasting legacy?

If God is Asleep…should we even wake him?

I'm the Okayest!

Balance is a word that brings so many pictures to mind – our checkbook, a seesaw, a yoga pose on one foot, meditation. But the truth is that we are all out of balance. We are all imperfect human beings.

When you look around and compare yourself to others, it is easy to find that one person who has it all. Perfect hair and body. Straight A student. Smiling and happy family. Excels in everything they do. At the top of their career. Or so it seems. Even those who appear to have it all are playing tricks on your eyes; it is all smoke and mirrors.

Years ago I felt like it was a curse to be mediocre at many things. I thought I had to be a superstar in every area of my life—teacher, husband, dad, son. As a preacher once told me, “You can be perfect.” What a lie. In reality, my pursuit of perfection was exhausting.  There is no way we can be amazing at everything. No matter what life coaches try to tell us.

You may have heard the term “imposter syndrome” described as the feeling that you will never be good enough. It is pitched as something that goes away when you reach the pinnacle of success. But that could not be further from the truth. Every day when I roll out of bed and look in the mirror, I see an imposter staring back at me.

The realization that I will never be a prolific writer with 150 publications, will not have perfect course evaluations and not every student will like me, that I am a pretty good dad, that I will never have a six-pack or run a marathon, and that I am a decent human being (but not Jesus); these are the splashes of cold water that keep me moving. For I have found that instead of celebrating my greatness and seeking cheers for my wondrous exploits, I focus on my weaknesses and inch toward “betterness” each day.

This is not a pessimistic message saying you should never strive for greatness. It would be a terrible motivational speech to tell someone: “Strive for mediocrity!” But some days you are not awesome. Some days you are weak and powerless to your failures. Some days you are not popular. But some days you win. And those are the days you must live for.

So today I will strive to be the best David Maurice Sparks that has ever lived. And if there is another one out there somewhere, he is probably just as OK as me.

All Is Not Lost

Consolation

What helps you sleep when the winds of death bring their bite

And dreams fill your nights with haunting melodies?

Regrets melt away and all that’s left are our past adventures.

Beautiful and sweet smiles creep across our faces

As we relive those joyous times like a set of old home movies.

Contemplation

We flee the finality of death but are forever preparing the future we grant to

Our children, grandchildren, and those to come. Their memories are yet to be made.

Although we have no part in them, our vapors fill their senses with the fragrance of remembrance

As they create their own sweet aroma.

Creation

With our last breath the fears and regrets that once haunted us escape from our minds,

Yet linger still in the courage of those who come after us,

An inheritance brighter than gold or silver but nonetheless more valuable;

Dreaming of the unlimited stories they will create, with hills and valleys that are part of every journey,

Is the salve that heals our spirits and helps us send forth hope like a cannon shot.

Continuation

Their stories and adventures are as numerous as the stars, and as exciting as any story ever written.

We pass these gifts to future generations; decades, centuries, and millennia to come,

With fragments of our DNA pulsing through their veins.

Maybe we will be watching them from above, sharing every laughter and cry and sending a cool breeze when they need it most.

Either way, we are with them; there is no end to their perpetual stories as long as our legacy lingers, spurring them onward to write their own endings and pass the torch of love.