I'm the Okayest!

Balance is a word that brings so many pictures to mind – our checkbook, a seesaw, a yoga pose on one foot, meditation. But the truth is that we are all out of balance. We are all imperfect human beings.

When you look around and compare yourself to others, it is easy to find that one person who has it all. Perfect hair and body. Straight A student. Smiling and happy family. Excels in everything they do. At the top of their career. Or so it seems. Even those who appear to have it all are playing tricks on your eyes; it is all smoke and mirrors.

Years ago I felt like it was a curse to be mediocre at many things. I thought I had to be a superstar in every area of my life—teacher, husband, dad, son. As a preacher once told me, “You can be perfect.” What a lie. In reality, my pursuit of perfection was exhausting.  There is no way we can be amazing at everything. No matter what life coaches try to tell us.

You may have heard the term “imposter syndrome” described as the feeling that you will never be good enough. It is pitched as something that goes away when you reach the pinnacle of success. But that could not be further from the truth. Every day when I roll out of bed and look in the mirror, I see an imposter staring back at me.

The realization that I will never be a prolific writer with 150 publications, will not have perfect course evaluations and not every student will like me, that I am a pretty good dad, that I will never have a six-pack or run a marathon, and that I am a decent human being (but not Jesus); these are the splashes of cold water that keep me moving. For I have found that instead of celebrating my greatness and seeking cheers for my wondrous exploits, I focus on my weaknesses and inch toward “betterness” each day.

This is not a pessimistic message saying you should never strive for greatness. It would be a terrible motivational speech to tell someone: “Strive for mediocrity!” But some days you are not awesome. Some days you are weak and powerless to your failures. Some days you are not popular. But some days you win. And those are the days you must live for.

So today I will strive to be the best David Maurice Sparks that has ever lived. And if there is another one out there somewhere, he is probably just as OK as me.