Aspire to Goodness (2032)

INTERVIEWER: Welcome to our show, Dr. Sparks. So after 40 years in education, including 21 years as a middle and high school teacher and 19 years as a professor, you have decided to retire. Can you believe it’s been that long?

TEACHER: No, its crazy. It seems just yesterday I took my first teaching job in 1992, the year my daughter was born. Sometimes I feel so young and other times I feel worn thin; especially my feet.

INTERVIEWER: (Laughs) I'm sure! What would you say was your favorite part of being in education?

TEACHER: Well, the money and the prestige of course (sarcasm). Seriously though, the students. I know it is cliché, but you can really feel like you make a difference in their lives, hopefully in a positive way. There were so many. I calculated last week that I have taught or influenced well over 10,000 students; possibly more when you count the teachers I helped produce and the students they have hopefully inspired. It is very rewarding. It is not an easy career. Never let anyone tell you that. It is one of the hardest jobs you could ever choose. But well worth it.

INTERVIEWER: Would you consider yourself a great teacher?

TEACHER: Interesting question. But the answer is no, not particularly. In fact, I jokingly say that I “aspire to goodness.”

INTERVIEWER: Wow, I have never heard anyone put it that way. Explain “aspiring to goodness” for me.

TEACHER: I guess I should back up and say that I struggled as a student. There was always something holding me back. Later I found out it was a combination of lack of confidence, imposter syndrome, and my ADHD. Somehow, I earned “more degrees than a thermometer” as my dad would have said. But there was always a restlessness in me that held me back from being a great teacher --my thirst for knowledge, hobbies and collections, relationships, religion, music, and other distractions. Oh, I am not saying I didn’t have flashes of greatness; I think all teachers do. But I remember feeling in the last third of my career that I would rather be “good” than “great.”

INTERVIEWER: This is quite intriguing. Tell me more about that last part.

TEACHER: Being a great teacher requires sacrifice, long hours, surrendering things in your life that are replaced by the obsessive need to always be “on your game.” Don’t get me wrong, I worked hard. The first few years I taught, I was always the first one in the parking lot and the last one to leave. But somewhere along the line, I realized those hours could be replaced by other things, and that my students should know more about what it means to be a “good” person than a “great” person. Greatness can be faked, driven by ambition and notoriety; wanting praise heaped on you. But I wanted to be “good,” which means I loved my students, believed in them, pushed them to understand their future students, and create students that want to make a difference in the world. So in the end, when students are talking about me and my legacy, I hope they say, “He was a good teacher. You could tell he really cared about us.”

INTERVIEWER: So, you can still be an “excellent” teacher while being a “good” teacher?

TEACHER: Absolutely. I would never tell a student not to strive for excellence. They should always focus on the quality of their work and create lessons that inspire their students. But more than that, I want them to teach their students to be “good” people as well. To love their neighbor, be respectful of all beliefs, care for their bodies, protect the earth, and fight for those whoare vulnerable. If I have created “good” students that impact the world in those ways, then I have truly done my job.

INTERVIEWER: Thank you, Dr. Sparks. I’ve enjoyed our conversation. You have inspired me to be a “good” reporter. One last question: What will you be doing in retirement?

TEACHER: I am actually going into partnership with another retired professor to own a record store. My love for music is second only to my love for education. I may even do a little DJ-ing; although at this point it might be at a retirement center (laughs).

 

We Are Ghosts

Blank faces, floating electronic signatures that bare some resemblance to reality;

Not fully human, yet fully alive.  

We are perpetually bound to this earth and those who aspire to break

Free are quickly reminded of the certainty of our damnation;

Talking heads and ominous videos fill us with wonder and despair;

Keeping us under their spell, even as we long to escape their icy grip.

Hearts beating and the day looping through its regimented routines;

Beating drums lead us onward, yet keep us walking in place.

On a scale of geologic time, we are only a blip, and this lingering time

Of viruses and civil unrest is but a twinkle in the long arc of history,

Yet it feels like an eternity; one of many trials we have endured as a species;

Inhabitants of a planet youthful in the universal dimensions of time and space.

Life floating by on wispy clouds as we remain tethered to the ground;

Completely in chains, yet free.

This isolation and emptiness are punishments it seems, a cruel prison sentence on those

That long to see the faces of other floating ghosts.

We know they are out there; we remember them

From the age of normalcy, as we cry out for a return to a time of rat races and ordinary stress.

As earthbound ghosts, we feel the distance that keeps us from living the life for which we were built;

Creatures made for contact and communion, yet free from the mask of suffering.

May we patiently await the time of reconciliation,

When the age of ghosts is a haunted memory and the embraces of humanity are ours once more.

Dodging Lightning

When the night is dark, yet not dark enough to escape the city haze that mars our view of the sky, lightning begins to show itself as a sinister applause with no sound, but soon makes its presence known to those who know where to listen.

As with so many other ghosts I feared, its ominous fireworks display and concerto of cymbal crashes once moved me to hide and cower, but no more.

I know with one mighty stroke of its crooked hands my heart would beat no more, but a long and fulfilled life dispels any notions of worry; do as you must you stooped and crackling wizard.

As with so many other fears, the future and its looming uncertainty call to me like the wind from a mighty storm; yet I am determined to see those fears as no more than irritations; they only yield the power that I grant them.

This newly born resistance to fear is driven by the realization that I am much stronger than I once was; more capable and able to construct or rebuild whatever is set before me in steadfast confidence.

The fears that once held me captive now slink away with nothing to show since I am no longer a viable candidate for emptiness; other weaker vessels must be pursued.

As with so many other worried souls, I once believed that I was powerless, but now my reflection is coming into focus; the lessons I learned from traversing my treacherous paths now energize and refresh my aching feet.

When the night is dark and the rumbling that stirs in distant retreating formations slowly fades into tomorrow, I smile to know that the storms of my yesterday now give way to the clear skies that warm my face as I confront the coming day with virtue and resolve.

All Together Separate

Frozen in time

This icy state of indifference weighs heavily on the soul

Crushing the vital air from our lungs and making us long for the touch of another human.

Suspended animation

This cartoon-like existence impels us to ponder what is real

Living each day through our rhythmic routines and wondering when a sense of normalcy will return.

Hiding from sunlight

This dark shelter shields us from the invisible microscopic monsters

Scaring us into the realization of the things that don’t matter and awakening our hearts to those that last.

Hoping in Silence

This quiet meditation calms our present, but the future is one that we will create together

Building a world that battles a common enemy and outgrows our complacency.

Change our World

This oblivious infection cares only about destroying all it encounters

Changing how we view the sick, the hungry, and the lonely and preparing us to see the world with fresh communal eyes.

What if God is Asleep?

If God is Asleep…

Are snow-capped mountains any less majestic?

Are ageless melodies any less sweet to the ears?

Are the embraces of love any less captivating?

If God is Asleep…

Do my words of anger and outrage matter?

Do my aspirations of changing the world matter?

Do my selfless acts of devotion and chivalry matter?

If God is Asleep…

Will my children love me any less?

Will my students appreciate me any more?

Will my friends and family miss me when I am gone?

If God is Asleep…

Can my righteousness take me any higher?

Can my motivation and ambition make me any happier?

Can my weakness make me any stronger?

If God is Asleep…

Is life any less beautiful and worthwhile?

Is there any point in working endless hours on my job?

Is there any reason not to live life to the fullest every day?

If God is Asleep…

What will be our greatest focus?

What will be our most frivolous fear?

What will be our lasting legacy?

If God is Asleep…should we even wake him?

I'm the Okayest!

Balance is a word that brings so many pictures to mind – our checkbook, a seesaw, a yoga pose on one foot, meditation. But the truth is that we are all out of balance. We are all imperfect human beings.

When you look around and compare yourself to others, it is easy to find that one person who has it all. Perfect hair and body. Straight A student. Smiling and happy family. Excels in everything they do. At the top of their career. Or so it seems. Even those who appear to have it all are playing tricks on your eyes; it is all smoke and mirrors.

Years ago I felt like it was a curse to be mediocre at many things. I thought I had to be a superstar in every area of my life—teacher, husband, dad, son. As a preacher once told me, “You can be perfect.” What a lie. In reality, my pursuit of perfection was exhausting.  There is no way we can be amazing at everything. No matter what life coaches try to tell us.

You may have heard the term “imposter syndrome” described as the feeling that you will never be good enough. It is pitched as something that goes away when you reach the pinnacle of success. But that could not be further from the truth. Every day when I roll out of bed and look in the mirror, I see an imposter staring back at me.

The realization that I will never be a prolific writer with 150 publications, will not have perfect course evaluations and not every student will like me, that I am a pretty good dad, that I will never have a six-pack or run a marathon, and that I am a decent human being (but not Jesus); these are the splashes of cold water that keep me moving. For I have found that instead of celebrating my greatness and seeking cheers for my wondrous exploits, I focus on my weaknesses and inch toward “betterness” each day.

This is not a pessimistic message saying you should never strive for greatness. It would be a terrible motivational speech to tell someone: “Strive for mediocrity!” But some days you are not awesome. Some days you are weak and powerless to your failures. Some days you are not popular. But some days you win. And those are the days you must live for.

So today I will strive to be the best David Maurice Sparks that has ever lived. And if there is another one out there somewhere, he is probably just as OK as me.