Man in the Middle

“One of the criminals who were hanged there was hurling abuse at Him, saying, "Are You not the Christ? Save Yourself and us!"  But the other answered, and rebuking him said, "Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation?  "And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong."  And he was saying, "Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!"  And He said to him, "Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise."  Luke 23: 39-43

I am a Christian. I have many beliefs that are not popular with fundamentalist views, but neither am I resigned to the drone of atheist naysayers. Both sides have the right to speak, and they both raise their voices like a sounding gong. In the middle is where I sit.  Waiting. Listening.  Hoping the clamor will cease.  But it never does. Why can’t I turn and run to one side or the other?  Why can’t I latch on to the certainty of a side and hold on tight.

Both sides clench tight to their ideologies, blinded by knowledge.  Both sides try to outscream the other.  Both sides snear and turn their heads, sticking their fingers in their ears and humming a tune like immature children on a playground.  Many people appear to meet in the middle, like boxers.  They shake hands, but then go back to their corners before proceeding to beat each other to a bloody pulp.

I always go back to the person of Jesus.  A man on a cross, hanging there for us.  Between two thieves arguing over their crimes.  Jesus speaks blessings on one and is silent to the other. Why is that so? Then it hit me.  Humility.  The criminal who begged for mercy was humble, to the point of asking for blessings even though he was just as guilty as the other man.  Jesus was always a man in the middle.  He was caught between the emptiness and fickleness of the crowd, following him for a mouth full of bread, and the Pharisees blinded by their own righteousness.  I sometimes wonder where I would have been.  Was there anyone else in the middle in Jesus’ time? 

The disciples, for whatever reason unique to each one, stayed with Jesus.  He had the answers.  He had the “words of life.”  They had nowhere else to go. To leave Jesus was to leave their source of strength.  To leave him meant disappearing into the crowd or parading around the temple in fine robes. Either choice was unacceptable.

Recently, I have learned that I ride the middle of controversial issues so many times.  I want to make both sides happy.  I want to keep the peace; to be a peacemaker.  Although it is not a comfortable place to be, that is where I choose to stay.  It is painful, like a teacher breaking up a fight between two bullies, catching the brunt of their anger.  The balm that soothes my heart is the phrase “I see your point.”  I don’t expect them to change, because bullies rarely do. But the hope of communication and lasting peace is more than pie in the sky.  It is the hope of all mankind. Throughout history we have failed to make peace materialize. But I will never give up.

I am not talking about Utopia, because I don’t believe it exists. But I do believe in the peaceful innocence of two small children walking hand in hand, and pray that someday we may find the peace of a small child in a world full of bullies.