Worth the Pain? Becoming an Everyday Superhero

"All gave some...and some gave all" Billy Ray Cyrus

Do the names Viola Gregg Liuzzo, Vernon Ferdinand Dahmer, Jonathan Myrick Daniels, Rev. James Reeb, Rev. Bruce Klunder, or William Lewis Moore mean anything to you? These are not household names and most aren't famous in the world's eyes. All of these are non-Black martyrs in the Civil Rights movement. I think its interesting to study the lives of individuals that gave their lives during the 1960's and especially those who chose to give their lives for a cause that did not directly affect their race. It intrigues me that they would sacrifice so much and take themselves into harms way to help uphold the right to vote and basic human equality.

Reading their short biographies made me think about how I would have responded. I hope I would have had the courage to stand with up the Black protestors and fight for basic human rights. I like to think I would have been in the midst of the cause, walking with the lines of protestors and being taken to jail with the crowds. Will I ever feel so passionate about something that I would be willing to risk my life for it?

Last weekend I watched a movie with my son called Act of Valor. It was a realistic account of the type of combats and missions conducted by Navy seals. I left the movie with a greater appreciation for the sacrifices our soldiers have made and continue to make every day. It reminded me of the police officers, firemen, and others who risk their lives to protect the public from crime, catastrophe, and chaos. I love being a teacher, but rarely do teachers give their lives in the line of duty (although it has happened at times such as Columbine). Lately I have a new appreciation for the way I live my life and the impact I have on those I directly affect. When it comes my time to die, will I be considered a hero by those I have touched with my thoughts, words, and deeds? There is so much more I could do, but I pray that fact will not stop me from doing SOMETHING!!

When the opportunities arrive for me to make a difference, I pray I will answer the call and be willing to give up everything if that is what it takes. I leave you with a poem that was read at the end of Act of Valor. May it inspire you to live a life that reminds people what being a "true" hero really means.

"When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home."~Tecumseh

Significance

"No, I'm not alright...I know that I'm not right....A steering wheel doesn't mean you can drive, A warm body doesn't mean I'm alive...Feel like I travel but I never arrive...I wanna thrive not just survive." ~ Thrive by Switchfoot

Sitting here listening to "Restless" by Switchfoot and realizing how restless I really am. Always scanning the horizon. Eyes on the move. Seeking the thrill of the next heartbeat. My four classroom walls are the world I inhabit. They are my domain. I want to burst out of them; expand my world. I want to see the world as bigger than these four walls. I seem to live in a constant flow of forward thinking; letting the present pass me by. All the options moving into my brain. All the self-doubt and worry about reaching my potential when I don't even know what that potential is.

Sitting here at my desk after the kids have left, I lay my head and down and enjoy the music and the emptiness. Looking down I see a small ant-like creature. It is moving in small jerky movements, undoubtedly looking for a morsel of food. It would be so easy to crush him/her/it with a flick of my foot. But who's to say its life isn't any more important than mine, even though it is shorter and much more fleeting. By this time tomorrow, its miniscule life may already be over. Its domain is this classroom. Its whole world is a 20ft X 25ft box with all the adventures it can muster in three days of life (or shorter). Where is my world? Is it contained in these four walls? Am I that bug, wandering around this massive planet with 7 billion other bugs, looking for the next meal and never imagining the size 13 shoe about to squash my guts out?

I envy animals sometimes. They live their lives never contemplating death. Never worrying about the death of someone they love since they don't understand death. Without God, I AM that bug. Without God, all of this life is fleeting. I pray that I will never underestimate the dent I make on this earth, even though my life appears to me as a wandering, tiny insect. Then again, that small bug will never experience the birth of a child, the thrill of crossing a finish line, the soft kiss of a lover, the blessing of singing, or the exhilaration of earning a college degree. Without these blessings, life is an empty piece of hopelessness. The conclusion of the matter is similar to what Solomon felt--the vanity of it all without God.  Goodbye little bug. Keep on moving...

The Last Shall Be First (Thank Goodness)

“…Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1

Now that the smoke has cleared on Texarkana’s Run the Line 2012, I have a few things to share that the experience has shown me. First, I learned that there are many others who value fitness and hundreds in this area alone who are in so much better shape than I will ever be. It is an astounding achievement to run 13 miles. I also learned that being the only walker is a unique experience. Out of the 500 or so participants, I was the only walker. So I finished first place and last place at the same time. Wrap your head around that one. I didn’t even mind seeing everyone pass me by, though I could never decide how to properly get out of their way. Finally, I learned that not everyone understands the magnitude of my accomplishment because they compare it to the other 500+ runners. When I consider the journey that I started over 4 years ago, this was a culmination of a new life that I created, one in which fitness is a new priority. In 2008, I was nearly 300 lbs and could not even walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath. I was not competing against the runners or against anyone else for that matter. As always, I was my own competition. 

No one can make fun of, discount, write away, or convince me in any other way that this was not an amazing accomplishment. When I consider the brokenness of my feet, the hours of self-doubt the days before the race, and wondering if I could even finish while experiencing great pain for over half the race, it amazes me even more. It is likely I will never participate in another half marathon, but the challenges I seek will never disappear. There are new ones ahead; even if no one understands and I stand alone as the final participant. The satisfaction of seeing the finish line is a reward all its own. Bring on the next challenge!!!!!

Power Up

“I’m talking to the man in the mirror…” Michael Jackson

Definition of Self-Empowerment : “Empowerment refers to increasing the spiritual, political, social, or economic strength of individuals and communities. It often involves the empowered developing confidence in their own capacities.”

The source of this definition is not important. What I want to focus on is the second sentence. Who are the empowered? WE are the empowered. I once heard a story about a man that lived a poor, meager existence his whole life. Before he died, he discovered that a rich inheritance had been left to him years prior but he was unaware. I think so many of us live this way. We live poor and destitute lives, not understanding that we hold the power to change. I do believe in obstacles. I have many: A brain that never stops moving in a million directions. Massive debt acquired through years of bad money management. Sore feet that scream every time I exercise. However, I will not give up. Being aware of your limitations and obstacles is the first step in making worthwhile changes.

I understood this sense of self-empowerment four years ago when I decided to lose weight and a few months earlier when starting on my doctorate. I had resigned to live the life I had created, which included not achieving a dream I have had since I was 22 and also not being healthy. So many people live in a world of hopes and dreams but do not try to make them a reality. They have given up on dreams they had since childhood. They have given up on life. Until we find the power that is within ourselves, we will never break the chains of despair. We hold the key in our hands. God will give us the power to help ourselves. Does that mean that everything we ask for from God will be given to us? The answer is a definitive NO!! But God does give us the power to make changes in our lives and break away from bad habits. He will also help us to keep those changes permanent. My son recently discovered self-empowerment when trying to change his eating and exercise habits. He realized the power to make those changes was right in front of him. What a spark!! What a revelation!! What a light bulb moment!! 

Self-empowerment has another consequence. It leads to synergy. This means that success in one area of your life leads to changes in other areas. Changes in yourself leads to changes in those you inspire. All of your group’s changes lead to a changed community and a changed world. Is this pie in the sky? Maybe. But who knows what changes can be made by one individual who inspires changes in others. Many people are the exact opposite. They are like a boat anchor dragging others to the bottom. No hope of success. Blaming others on their inability to succeed. Despair and desperation. How sad is an individual with no power and no hope?

Will we still have failures? Will we still not reach every goal we set? Of course. But the thrill of life is in the journey. Crossing the finish line or walking the stage for that college degree. The thrill is looking back from the top of the mountain to see all the obstacles you have traversed and feeling the sweet satisfaction of success. There is no greater feeling.