We are all waiting to know the future, good or bad or indifferent; to know the future is to break the cycle of gnawing indifference…
Time will not change the emptiness that fills each human heart
Time will not bring us any closer to immortality
Time will not soothe the wounds of an unfulfilled childhood
Time will not bring back the lost opportunities that haunt our sleepless nights
From Purgatory (May 30. 2021)
---
In every phase of my life, redemption reveals itself in
small and subtle ways. Sometimes second chances become third and fourth
chances. But the power of redemption is the fuel that drives me forward.
From Redemption (July 1, 2021)
---
When opportunities show themselves we must entertain them,
for life does not offer that many;
We must pursue dreams with all diligence for they are the cultivated creations
of a life well-lived.
From The Promise (July 24, 2021)
---
When the confusion subsides and the new world comes into
view, do not long for the days of old, for they are no more. Close your eyes
and feel the sun shine on the promises that have opened up to you, and know
that a brighter future is one that you create piece by peace.
From The Tearing Away (August 8, 2021)
---
The decision to wake up each day and still feel that the
world will change because of your contributions is the smoke and mirrors that
keep us moving forward. The ability to put on a tie, produce a clean-shaven
face, and tackle a world dominated by youth is an act of shear bravery.
From Golden Years? (September 12, 2021)
---
Off into the distance the steam train winds and sways and
moves onward to the next mass of essential workers. My day is nearly done. But
the morning will bring a new set of rattling cars, the reality of a distance
war, and the bittersweet sensation of a job well done.
Grace in the form of a beautiful figure greets my greasy
visage at the door with a glass of cold, clear water. A warm meal simmers on
the stove. Sleep comes quickly; the long day of toil drifts away like clouds of
steam.
From The Railroad Man (October 25, 2021)
---
How will you serve your time? How will you spend those days
as you wander toward the inevitable? The mind is the last refuge of solitude,
for it speaks to us in our time of need. Call on the gods and saints if you
will, and maybe they will hear you in your time of trouble. But most of all
make peace with your thoughts, for that is the only way to release the chains
of bondage and set your spirit free of the prison walls.
From We Are All Prisoners (December 19, 2021)
---
She wishes on twinkling stars, lifts up a prayer of
thanks for the gift of life, breath, and pain.
What calling can be more noble and what pathway can be more
vital to a hurting world?
What can she give in return for the blessing of providing
direction for small, lost souls in a world that seeks at every turn to lead
them away from truth and goodness?
When she closes her eyes at night, she accepts the struggle
as a willing sacrifice, trusting in her heart of hearts that there is purpose
to this pain.
From She (January 12, 2022)
---
A thousand years from now, surrounded by a complex structure
of unknown futuristic materials, men will gaze at the stars and ponder the same
questions. They will never be answered. The generations will keep asking them,
always wondering if life is worth it, always coming to the same lasting
conclusion – maybe.
The cost of living will continue to rise until it evaporates
like a mist, only to be inhaled once again by some future-enlightened
generation of cave-dwellers.
From The Cost of Living (January 25, 2022)
---
Life makes me sad…knowing that one person will never be
able to experience it all. Yet that sadness is overshadowed by the joy of never
ceasing to forget every second, every smile, and every breath.
From Legacy (February 19, 2022)
---
The truth is that wind is as inanimate as the concrete
mailbox that absorbs its strength; it does not hate or fear or love, but only
moves at the whim of nature and science. It makes no sense to seek meaning from
the wind, yet I daily wonder what it is trying to teach me; like free-form jazz
I try to decipher its rhythms and rhymes, but there is nothing there but our
individual interpretations.
From The Wind (March 20, 2022)
---
There is not a choice that leads to happiness. I choose to
stay on the rope. Balanced between the soft and the hard; suspended between two
worlds. There is security there but the exhausting balancing act cannot go on
forever. The choice must be made.
From The Tightrope (July 24, 2022)
---
How do we know if someone is writing our code?
Sometimes we read from the history books about the
astounding feats of bravery and even greater episodes of evil and wonder if we
possess the programming to write a different storyline. We share the same DNA
and the potential for triumph and tragedy flows unceasingly through our veins.
From Robots (October 3, 2022)
---
Is it time to start over, or start again? I am not sure if I
am ready for such a commitment, but I know that there are many adventures yet
to begin if I can only muster the strength to find them. Is there room for
optimism in the last 1/3 of your life? I certainly hope so. For I cannot thrive
on the crumbs of pessimism.
From EnTrOpY (October 26, 2022)
---
The professor knows this is a trap. While simultaneously
longing for the days of the future when he is in control and no one can tell
him what to do, those days scare him for he will become his own boss, and he is
a terrible self-manager. Yet there are still goals that he writes on sticky
notes and pastes all around his messy office like wallpaper. It is yet to be
seen whether or not those lofty goals will ever come to pass and if the sticky
notes will be stuck on the wall like gold stars, crumpled in the trash, or
frozen in their place like flypaper to serve as a warning for all those who
dare to dream.
From Much Ado About “Nothing” (November 23, 2022)
---
Many times the trials of life seem too heavy. The reality of
our future nonexistence weighs heavy on our souls. We seek to grab the promises
of eternal habitation, but their allure slips away as we consider their lofty
possibilities.
What holds the gloom at bay? What keeps us from slipping
into the abyss? The warmth and promise of love is the only solid footing on
this journey. It sustains me. It fills my belly. It feeds the hope that I so
often starve. Love is all that keeps me away from the ledge.
From Addicted to Discontent (December 16, 2022)
---
Your childhood home is a place of comfort but one to which
you can never return; the winds have changed and the forest of your youth has
now become a parking lot – you can never re-live your childhood adventures and
moving closer will not guarantee that any of your past memories will nourish
you or give you peace.
From Reawakening (January 2, 2023)
---
We enter this world alone, with a slap on the ass. We begin
the journey with a crowd of onlookers, even as we arrive here on our own terms.
We leave the same way, with a host of mourners seeking to illuminate our exit.
Chants and prayers, songs and tears will soon be ours, but before that day, we
will take those last wobbly steps…we must face this final journey alone.
From Rebirth (January 21, 2023)
---
Nature reveals the constant presence and power of the waves,
yet each one is different. Each new ebb and flow produce a display that has
never been before and never will be repeated. So it is with our lives. Each of
these unique sunrises and sunsets hold their place in the lexicons of time. Yet
they are oblivious to our human frailties, imperfections, and anxieties.
From Washed Away (February 18, 2023)
---
What is it that everyone else sees when they look in
their own mirror?
This face that has witnessed the whole journey in awe,
eyes that have seen beauty and sadness, ears that have heard my babies cry,
beautiful melodies, and the sounds of destruction, confusion, and chaos.
If it is really true that the eyes are the windows to the
soul, then may these eyes be blessed to see a thousand more sunrises. May my
face feel the wind as it whips across the ocean and my ears hear the sounds of
happiness and joy that ring true in my children, their children, and eons
onward.
From In My Skin (March 25, 2023)
---
It doesn’t matter what animal you slay, it will never bring
you the peace that you so desire. Because once the last dragon falls, both your
livelihood and sense of accomplishment will fall as well.
I languish in the understanding that what I really loved was
the hunt. The chase. The fear. The adventure. Now that it is finished, and the
dragon, along with my insecurities, negativity, and self-loathing, are soundly
defeated, I rest in the fact that the elusive happiness and contentment that
follow a sense of accomplishment was always within my grasp.
From When the Last Dragon Falls (April 16, 2023)
---
I
travel the almost-good-enough, always striving, always climbing ascent that
never reaches the summit.
I am
the former also-ran who sees the finish line that keeps moving farther and
farther away.
I will
never reach it…I am half-way certain of that.
From The In-Betweens (April 18, 2023)
---
It does not matter if I look in the mirror and don’t like
what I see. I am stuck with that mask and I must work with what I have. Nobody
is going to carve me into the image of that person that I long to be. Even
plastic surgery would not make me happier, because under that skin lies the
heart and soul of the person I have built and molded my entire life.
From You Are the Only One (May 18, 2023)
---
Silence scares me more than any other noise that can be
conjured, because in the silence walls are formed, plans are schemed, loves are
lost, and tears form and fall. Silence rips a man apart and drives a woman into
insanity. It has no form, no function, and no purpose, and it holds your life
as a ransom.
What is this future silence that awaits us? I no longer
believe in the heavenly choirs, harps strumming, and choruses of angels (I
would much rather hear screaming guitars if I had to choose), so the prospect
of silence is the most deafening and frightening punishment that we could
receive.
From The Curse of Silence (July 31, 2023)
---
Enough
For a small select few a long life is never going to be
enough.
We search for more than this life because this is all that
we know and the prospect of a greater above, or a scarier below, spins us
onward as we search for a level of piety that will always allude us.
When do we stop longing for our righteous reward and breathe
in the miracle of the here and now?
From Enough (December 14, 2023)
---
We are all replaceable….
Why can’t we mourn change like we mourn death, for change is
a memoriam to the pathway of comfort that was stolen from us? The speed at
which I must accept change and move on makes me feel less human and more like a
caged animal.
To err is human, but to be human is also to live with change
and loss and separation and loneliness; I envy the animals in their ignorant
bliss.
From The Curse of Humanity (January 18, 2024)
---
He hadn’t really travelled the world. Once to England and a
smattering of cities in the United States. Always connected to work and hardly
ever free to roam and make connections to the land. Yet he considered himself
an adventurer of sorts…he had the fedora and a suitcase full of memories to
prove it. But someone once laughed when he talked of his adventurous spirit and
reminded him that he was no more than a boring wannabe with a closet full of
ties and a teaching certificate. Although his new love had told him a thousand
times that she loved the professor life and he was all the adventure she would
ever need, the snarky comment of someone intent on hurting him stayed with him
like a contentious bone spur…always there…always reminding him of his inability
and lack of worth.
From The Traveler (February 21, 2024)
---
How can we consider being finished when there is so much
more work left to do? How could the world spin without you in motion around it?
Yet on it goes; when one dies and another is born the relentless spinning never
slows through it all.
We feel that we must keep moving because if we slow down, we
will see that the world is perfectly fine without us; yet we are not fine if we
don’t enjoy it until the very last second…until the last beat of our hearts.
At some point everyone senses when it is time for a change,
but not everyone is brave enough to take that first step toward evolution and
freedom. Its never too late to continue your unfinished journey and to follow
the brave path of other lost and wandering sojourners who have stayed the
course.
From Parallel Lines (May 12, 2024)
---
During the waiting the anxiety starts, but it continues
during the waiting and it never stops.
I am starting to wonder if I manufacture these things to
keep having something to wait for;
Something to look forward to;
Something to worry about.
But then again maybe life is just a waiting game and we are
all a part of its sick and twisted world.
From The Waiting Game (July 8, 2024)
---
It is the unflinching and insatiable sense of the chaos
around you spinning out of control, like you are trapped on a rollercoaster
where you changed your mind after the first 10 seconds…but it is too late. It
must speed onward as you hope for a timely resolution.
You want to solve the problems from without, but first you
must control the roaring beast of anxiety within.
From When the Lion Roars (September 4, 2024)
