We are all replaceable….
Why can’t we mourn change like we mourn death, for change is
a memoriam to the pathway of comfort that was stolen from us? The speed at
which I must accept change and move on makes me feel less human and more like a
caged animal.
To err is human, but to be human is also to live with change
and loss and separation and loneliness; I envy the animals in their ignorant
bliss.
We are all responsible…
Mourning is an emotion that we dodge like a bullet, for
recognizing those emotions give way to sorrow and the realization of loss. But
if I embrace it for too long, I am told to “get over it” for the work must be
done. If not you, then never fear, your replacement is waiting in the wings.
To keep going is human, but sometimes it feels like we are rats
on a wheel going nowhere fast. We may not know where we are going, but we must
get there quickly before its too late; barely missing the coming storm and
thanking the gods for their mercy. There is no joy in that journey.
We are all unique in a weird and twisted way…
Why do we brag that we are better than the animals, when we
fight and kill for territory, power, and food and devour anyone who gets in our
way? Animals act like animals because they were created to live and die
oblivious to their own mortality. We possess the curse of that knowledge.
To fight for our survival is part of our animal nature. We
have added all the drama and emotions to make this journey more interesting,
but we sleep, eat, have passionate desires, and establish a niche in our human-created
wilderness filled with split-level condos and shopping malls.
We are all to blame…
Why am I told that I should not be like this – to not take
things so personally, overreact, or mourn the departure of a co-worker? I
should be able to set the timetable of my mourning, to move when I am ready,
and to never forsake the compassionate side of my humanity.
I do not believe in reincarnation, but if I did, I would
want to come back as an animal, oblivious to life and death decisions, taxes, sorrow,
and the pain of separation, but most of all oblivious to the sadness that I would
feel if I were cursed with humanity.
