But I had an ordinary childhood, full of skinned knees,
bologna and cheese sandwiches, riding bikes around the neighborhood, and cars
with no air conditioning. I had my share of death, sadness, bullying, and
broken hearts. It was a struggle, but one that seemed as normal as breathing.
Somehow with patience, perseverance, and a bit of luck, I went
to college, transferred to a major university, finished and worked as a youth
minister, and then had a long and rewarding career as a teacher.
I raised two beautiful children and saw them emerge into
adults like butterflies; soon to both be college graduates with goals, aspirations,
and dreams only reminiscent to me as a vapor of memories.
A marriage ended; a necessary yet painful death. I learned patience, unselfishness; that I could both love and be loved again. Along the
way I enrolled into a doctoral program to become a professor, a lifelong dream.
I am currently walking that treacherous, yet amazing, path.
I have never sought a fight. I avoided it at all costs during
my childhood. My modus operandi was to cut and run. Even into adulthood, my
rocky marriage hit turbulence because it was easier to avoid a fight than to
point out the approaching iceberg. But in the last few years, I have picked up my
boxing gloves.
Funny thing about these fights - they have left me battered, bruised,
bloodied, and beaten. But they have never left me defeated.
I have learned to fight for my dreams, for my children, for
my dignity, and for my happiness. Now I fight to restore my body and beat it
into submission, and to be a supportive role
model to those I love.
Now the fight rages on to keep the dream alive. I will not
run from this fight. Even in the midst of denied grants, rejections, keeping
asthma and ADHD at bay like roaring lions, and forces pushing me to give up and
coast, I will fight on.
As always, the battle is against myself. Against the anger, indifference, and self-doubt. Against the stubborn, yet resolute, image in the mirror.
It’s a street fight. A fight to the death. A fight that will
endure until my last breath.
I move forward with confidence, knowing that every second of
my life has led me to this point. I will not give up. I refuse. I feel the presence
of many silent warriors with raised fists cheering me on in solidarity as they
fight their own battles.
The bell has sounded. Let the next round begin.
