Last year, I was in one of my diet phases so I stopped at
the neighborhood Whataburger. I know you are thinking Whataburger and diet
should not be in the same sentence, but bear with me. I decided to eat a tad
more healthy by not ordering the fries, which I knew would cut out quite a few
calories. I made that explicit to the worker when I ordered. It was a busy day
and the drive-through seemed to go on forever but I was patient, my mouth
watering for that juicy cheeseburger. When I arrived at the window I had to sit
another 5 minutes, but the food finally made its way to me. As she handed me
the bag, the employee was apologetic as she gave me the order. Nestled in the
bottom of the bag was a large order of fries. I told her I didn’t order fries
and with a smile she said “Oh it took so long I gave you those for free.” I
just stared at her and blinked, wanting to say something but not wanting to
appear ungrateful or rude. It was not a big deal, but I am sure I ate at least
half of the fries since they were within reach since I have no self-control.
But the point is this: I DO NOT want fries with that!
A similar situation happened in early 2016. I was trying to
find a place where I was not distracted to get some work done (which is nearly
impossible) so I happened upon the local Starbucks and bought a hot tea. They
did not have the flavor I wanted so I just said, “I’ll take Black Tea.” I
waited patiently as they searched for teabags. I heard the workers quietly say
something to each other about being out, but I dismissed it. A few minutes
later, I received my steaming cup of hot tea and lifted the lid to add sugar
and cream, when I noticed a strange color, smell, and taste. It tasted like they
went outside and pulled up a handful of grass and tossed it in to steep. You guessed
it: Green Tea. I did not want to be one of “those people” that complained about
their orders, so I just called him over and told him it was not Black Tea. He
looked down in the cup and said “Oh, we were out of Black so we gave you Green.”
Inside my head I was screaming “In what universe is Green Tea a replacement for
Black Tea?” On the outside, I just stared and blinked in disbelief like I did
at Whataburger and said, “Umm, I’ll just take Early Grey.” My point is obvious:
I DO NOT want Green Tea!
There is a lot of talking going on these days, but very little listening. I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I do have many questions:
* Can you be against Black Lives Matter in principle, but
listen to what they have to say and try to understand why they feel like they do not matter?
* Can you be in support of the 2nd Amendment, but
still be appalled at what people do to others when guns are easily available
and be disgusted by this epidemic of violence?
* Can you be in favor of traditional marriage and its
sanctity, but still cry with LGBTQ people that have been ridiculed, feel like
they have nowhere to belong, or have considered suicide?
* Can you stand on the principles of your political party, but
still listen to the other side, at least exploring the possibility that most are well-meaning, red-blooded Americans like you that just have a different view
of what makes America tick?
* Can you support police officers and all that they do to
help their communities, but realize that there are too many instances of
deadly violence toward people of color to dismiss the reality that some
police officers are blinded by racism?
As I said many times, I do not have all the answers. But I
know the truth lies somewhere in between the two extremes. Too many times we
try to give people what we think they need, not what they have asked for. This
is not about liberal or conservative, Democratic or Republican, right-wing or left-wing.
This is a matter of treating others like human beings with value. Listening is
not optional any more—lives are at stake.
What most people want more than anything else is to be
heard. This does not mean listening to them as they say their peace, yet ready
to strike back with your vehement appeal and convictions firmly entrenched when
they are done speaking. Just listening with those who need to be heard, crying
with those who need to shed tears, and holding the hand of someone who feels no
one is on their side.
Until we learn to listen and see through the eyes of others,
America will never truly be great.
