“…Every good tree
bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear
bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not
bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit
you will recognize them.” ~ Matthew 7:17-20
There have been many wars fought where the enemy and the
ally look very much alike. Sometimes
fighters wear the uniform and color of their side, but other times it is less
obvious. Many times the enemy may put on
the clothes or colors of the other side while infiltrating the camp for secrets
or to kill them when they are least suspecting it. The only way to know the enemy is by their
actions and their words. Those two
things always give them away. So it is
with an ally. It is not always easy to
recognize who is on your side, even if they look exactly like you.
Like many others, I fear standing up for those who are persecuted
or maligned. Gay teens bullied by insecure fundamentalists. Black college
students jeered and stereotyped by racists.
Women objectified for their bodies and put in their place by sexists. Those persecuted for their religious beliefs,
or their lack of beliefs. I have
bought the lie that there is nothing I can do.
I am White, heterosexual, Christian, and male. I am the recipient of privileges just because
of those four qualities. I did not earn
those; they came to me by birth. Even if
I refuse to admit that they give me advantages, that does not change the fact
that they do.
But I have moved past the guilt of the sins of my
forefathers. I no longer feel the need
to help others out of some misbegotten feeling of guilt or sympathy or even willingness
to follow my religious convictions like a checklist. I have decided that love is the card that
trumps all others. I am no longer scared
of people saying some of the following: “You
are not Black, so how can you understand racism?” “You are not gay, so how do you know how it
feels to be called a fag?” “You are not
female, so how do you know what it feels like to have your body controlled by
old men in political power and told that you are nothing but a symbol of sex?” “You
have faith and you believe in a loving God, so how can you understand religious
fundamentalists that justify their convictions with the disguise of hate or the
atheist that chooses not to believe?”
It is true that I cannot feel those things and no matter how
hard I try I will never physically be like them. But I have empathy. I have love.
I have a listening ear. I have strong hands that can shake theirs or I
can put my arm around their shoulder. I
can even reassure them and cry with them. I have the ability to see from their perspective
and listen to appeals for someone to stand in their corner. I can be someone that
sees their point of view and who tries to be the friend they need in their time
of need. I will no longer use the excuse
“I am not like them.” I choose to be the
one that sees the least of these (in the eyes of the world) and I will stand
with them. I may get ridiculed for that,
even from both sides. The male, Christian, straight, Caucasians may say, “You
don’t belong there. You are not like
them.” Some of those from the mistreated
and forgotten groups may say I don’t belong there as well. I understand that and I even understand why I
may not be trusted. To be misunderstood
is something that I may have to live with.
I may never fit it, no matter what I try to do.
I choose to be an ally.
That does not mean I will believe everything they believe or live the
same way they do. Four undeniable
aspects of my life (being White, male, heterosexual and Christian) will never
change. In respect to those qualities, I
will never be anything more or less than the person I am right now. But I will fight for those that don’t have a
voice and prove to them that they have a friend. This is my manifesto and this is the way I
chose to live.
