“And Grace calls out,
'You are not just a disillusioned old man who may die soon, a middle-aged woman
stuck in a job and desperately wanting to get out, a young person feeling the
fire in the belly begin to grow cold. You may be insecure, inadequate, mistaken
or potbellied. Death, panic, depression, and disillusionment may be near you.
But you are not just that. You are accepted.' Never confuse your perception of
yourself with the mystery that you really are accepted.” ~ Brennan Manning
The Rich Mullins biopic “Regamuffin” was not what I
expected. It was not a movie
specifically about Rich Mullins, but a movie about all of us. Those of us
beaten down by life. Those of us who
have felt the pangs of death, faced the ravages of our bad choices, and who
have experienced grace first hand. I had heard that Rich was rough around the
edges, but that was an understatement. He was far from perfect. He smoked, had
a tendency to drink excessively, and had a problem with language. He always looked disheveled, almost
homeless. If he had wandered into a
church today, he might not have been welcome (kind of like Jesus). He did not play by the rules and he was not even
sure what the rules were.
I came out of the movie a little confused. Aren’t we
supposed to worship people in the media, even Christian artists? With their
shiny CD covers and their world tours, aren’t they immune to pain. Aren’t they
prayed-up, confessed-up, slickly dressed little church-goers. I believe the movie helped me not to see Rich
as some kind of martyr or a saint that I could follow and emulate. I saw him as
more human than I ever believed. I see
his reflection when I look in the mirror.
But he came to understand grace, especially after meeting Brennan
Manning and realizing how much God loved him. As he sang in Everyman,
“And the Lord looks down and He understands
The world draws up it’s lines,
But at the foot at the cross there is room for everyone.
And love that is not blind
It can look at who we are and still see beyond
The differences we find….”
The movie was extremely emotional, with portions bordering
on ecstasy as I listened to renditions of his wonderful music by the actor who
portrayed him. I tossed and turned the night after the movie, wondering what
the primary message was supposed to be. I finally came to this one-word
conclusion: grace. It is the most
powerful and misunderstood gift that the Father has given us. And it is available
for everyone. The movie also reminded me
that I am not perfect, but I am loved.
If that is the gift that Rich gave us in his short 42 years, then his
life has meaning beyond his music. May
love guide my life and may I always do what my heart tells me, just as he did. At
the height of his music popularity, he chose to leave Nashville and pursue a
dream of serving American Indian children with the gift of music. He lived his
own life, as rough and unpopular as he might have been with even some in the
Christian community. I am thankful for his life and legacy and for the
opportunity to experience grace, like everyone who has ever been born.
I am a ragamuffin. And it’s OK. All of us are, even if we
don’t know it.
